


Spaceship

by TheatrePhantom



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Abandonment, Abandonment Issues, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Attacks, College, Crying, Developing Friendships, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Family Drama, Family Issues, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Men Crying, Mental Breakdown, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, University, ZADF, ZaDr
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:21:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27810682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheatrePhantom/pseuds/TheatrePhantom
Summary: Dib and Zim's lives are changing and, for the first time in years, these changes may lead them away from one another. Neither of them is sure that they can handle it, but one thing is for certain: Dib was not meant to live a normal life.
Relationships: Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 56
Kudos: 83





	1. University

**Author's Note:**

> This story was based off this wonderful animatic! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvpEk6NgJHI PLEASE check it out if you are not familiar with it already because the art is absolutely stunning and the whole thing is incredibly emotional and wonderfully made (the song is amazing as well). :)

Throughout his life, there were many things that Dib had done specifically to please his father. There were few things that he wanted more than to finally make Membrane proud of him and his achievements and every day Dib felt as though he was more and more willing to destroy parts of himself to make his father happy. Every adventure he went on in search of cryptids had one main goal above everything else: prove the existence of the paranormal to his dad- show him that he isn’t the insane kid that Membrane has always seen him as. Every advanced science class that Dib signed up for was to show his father how capable he was and to prove his intellect to Membrane. 

Dib’s desires and constant efforts to finally make his father genuinely proud of him was the driving factor in so many aspects of his life that it only made sense that it was the reason Dib finally caved and agreed to attend university once he finally graduated high school. 

Growing up, Dib had always planned on starting work the moment he left high school. He had been intent on immediately throwing himself into the paranormal investigative work that he had always aspired to. Dib had worked on chasing his dreams from a young age and finally breaking free of the confines that were high school would allow him to do so to the extent he truly desired. He would be able to pour however much time and effort he wanted into his work without having to worry about school and cruel non-believers getting in the way of his attempts. As an adult, he would be able to fully join the organizations he had spent his entire life looking up to. 

Freeing himself from the shackles of his current life meant being able to pursue everything Dib had ever truly wanted out of a career- out of his _life_. 

Attending the Ivy League school that his father had wanted him to attend since the moment he had been created, though, meant a chance at finally showing his father that he was worth the time and love that he so desperately longed for from him. 

So, ignoring the pained screams every bone in Dib’s body let out, begging for him to escape- to not put himself through all of that again after so many years of _waiting_ \- he pushed aside his own wants and needs in sick pursuit of something that was more important to him. 

He would make his father proud of him, even if it meant putting his own dreams on hold. 

Besides, this didn’t mean he had to give everything up. He could take classes that interested him, he could research the odd lore that surrounded the school (there _had_ to be something strange and paranormal in the area, even if it wasn’t well-known), he could join clubs that were filled with people interested in the same things that he was. If nothing else, he would finally be out of the close-minded school he had attended his whole life. He would be able to start over in an area where no one believed that he was some insane, idiotic child losing his mind over ridiculous things that no one else could see. 

Leaving- even if it was to attend a university that Dib had never been particularly passionate about- was an opportunity. It opened so many new doors for him to go through. Maybe he would still be able to pursue his interest in the paranormal, even if it wasn’t in the capacity he had wanted. There was always the chance that this would be _good_ for him and for his passions. Doing this didn’t mean that he would have to give up everything he had worked towards. He wouldn’t necessarily have to abandon what he cared about the most just because his plans were being altered. If he chose to still pursue the paranormal, he could do so. This meant nothing.

Plenty of paranormal experts- ones that Dib looked up to, even- had pursued an education in other degrees and branches of science before becoming the paranormal investigators that they were known to be. 

Some people escaped to the countryside in the middle of nowhere to further their careers. The solitude of nowhere land made it easier for people to write and study in peace, getting where they wanted to be without the pressure and external factors that other people constantly pushed into their lives just by being present. It gave them ample time and the perfect location to search for cryptids and other such creatures. Just as many people, however, left to the city to do the same thing. Famous authors- including authors who wrote about the paranormal- from all around the world would jet off to the city to hone their skills and surround themselves in a new environment that would allow them to further their careers. 

Even if this had never been part of the plan, Dib could make this work- dozens of people who had come before him had done so, and he could too. Straying from the path he had forged for himself didn’t mean failure, it just meant… change.

At least, that’s what Dib told himself, forcing an uneasy smile upon his face as he carefully arranged his belongings inside a bag, readying himself for the long journey ahead of him.

Even as he told himself that, though, he knew that there was just as much of a chance of him losing what he had worked so hard to achieve. 

There was even a chance, no matter how slim it was, that he _would_ end up enjoying the major that Membrane had pressured him to pursue. As unlikely as it seemed, it was possible that, as Membrane had said, Dib just hadn’t found the right _branch_ of “real” science, yet. Perhaps, while he was there, he would find something he enjoyed just as much as- if not more than- paranormal investigation. In spite of everything that Dib had told himself, his father, and the world throughout his life, it was possible that his father had been right all along. Maybe he would enjoy this. Maybe he would be able to find an area of science that he could completely throw himself into. Maybe he would be _passionate_ about “real” science like his dad was- like his dad _wanted him to be_. 

That wasn’t such a scary thought. As far as it strayed from Dib’s life goals, it wasn’t the worst possible outcome. If he studied a branch of science that people actually cared about, maybe he would finally find the respect and recognition that he deserved. Maybe he would finally be able to show people that he was _worth something_. Doing this could allow him a chance at a somewhat normal life; a life in which he wasn’t the person everyone stared at in disgust and fear. A life where his ears weren’t constantly ringing with the voices of those whispering terrible things about him behind his back. 

If he pursued what Membrane wanted him to, he would not only be able to finally make his father proud, but he would also be able to prove everyone who had told him he was a freak and failure his entire life wrong. He would be able to escape the constant hatred and cruelty that he felt coming at him from every side throughout his life. He wouldn’t have to live in constant fear of what people thought of him and what horrible things they would potentially do to him. 

If Dib followed the path that his father had laid out for him as a child, he could be as close to normal as a Membrane could become. He could make his father proud. He could show the world what he was truly worth. 

That didn’t sound so bad. 

~~~

The first several years after Zim initially landed on Earth had been rather straight-forward. Considerin he had initially disguised himself as a middle school student, all he had to do was follow the path that was naturally laid out for people of the age group he had chosen to masquerade as. It was simple; all he had to do was get through middle school and then high school, after that. 

Once he graduated high school, though, things became _far_ less easy for him.

There were too many options for him to deal with. It was incredibly rare for Irkens to be given the opportunity to make decisions that would influence the very course of their lives- not like humans were. Choices that would change their lives drastically were made for them by either the Control Brains or the Almighty Tallests. No lowly Irken drones or even _soldiers_ were given any sort of power of decision over their lives- and it made perfect sense for that right to be stripped from them. Anything that impacted individual Irkens that much would impact the Armada. Irkens did not simply join specific ranks because that was where they wanted to go- the were divided into their ranks due to a combination of their own skills and capabilities and the needs of the Irken Armada. No decisions of true importance were left up to normal Irkens and, because of this, Zim had almost no experience in making choices with as much pressure behind them as this one. 

After high school, human people were supposed to decide whether they would attend a school or begin working immediately, among other things. Then, they had to decide what school they would go to- or what job they would take up, if they chose to go in that direction- and then, if they _did_ attend a school, would have to decide upon a major.

It seemed strange to Zim, putting so much power in the hands of people who barely understood their own world. If the students he had attended school with were any indication, the majority of them had little to no knowledge on how to function in the real world. The educators at their school hadn't bothered to teach anyone things that were applicable to everyday life. They had never explained how "taxes" worked or given them any information about what to do once they graduated high school and began living the rest of their pitifully short lives. 

It seemed as though very few people who had graduated the same year as Zim had had any idea what they were doing with their lives and none of them seemed qualified to begin being legal adults. Admittedly, that made Zim feel a bit better about himself ( _anything_ that allowed him to feel above humans to any extent made him feel better).

That didn't change the fact that Zim wasn't entirely certain what he should do now that he was faced with the decision that entirely altered the lives of humans. 

Unlike _actual_ humans, Zim hadn't spent his entire life with the knowledge of his future at the back of his mind. While humans had been poorly prepared for this situation, he hadn't been prepared for it at all. 

And he certainly hadn't been prepared for Dib to leave. 

He had always assumed that things would work out, so long as his human was still there. They weren't friends, per se, but there was a sort of connection that they shared, even as they constantly worked to take one another down. Despite the fact that there had always been tension between them caused by their endless fighting against one another's efforts, there had always been something else between the two of them. Dib was the person who made things interesting on his horrible planet. 

What was he going to do without the human? Life wasn't going to be as interesting and fulfilling without him attempting to thwart his evil plans at every turn. As much as Zim hated to admit it, no matter how much effort he had put into getting rid of the human throughout their time knowing one another, he didn’t want him to leave. He wasn’t certain how his life would plan out without the odd, irritating human constantly there for him, no matter how utterly infuriating he was. 

Zim hadn’t been particularly worried about what he was going to do upon initially graduating high school because he had assumed little would change. He functioned under the belief that Dib would still be there every day, attempting to break into his base and ruin whatever schemes he had crafted for the time being. He thought that he would be stuck with Dib even once high school was over and that their constant battling and bickering would continue eternally. He had never seen a future in which Dib _wasn’t there_. It was entirely unheard of and he could hardly imagine it. 

Once Dib told him that he planned on moving to the city and attending the university there, all of Zim’s plans were changed. His expectations for how his life on Earth would go were completely shattered. 

He had never put much thought into what he would do after high school because he never believed he would need to- he never intended for things to change from the routine they had been following since he first arrived there. The prospect of that change left Zim feeling… uneasy. 

Knowing that Dib would be leaving- that he would be changing his life and abandoning Zim for some future that he deemed _better_ than the Irken Soldier- made Zim realize that he _would_ have to make a plan. If he was going to look like a normal human and continue keeping up appearances, he would have to make some sort of decision on what to do next. 

His first instinct was to follow Dib to wherever he was going- even if it was weird for him to follow the path of his enemy to ensure he didn’t lose him, he could at least validate his actions by saying it was to ensure Dib didn’t spill his secrets once far away enough that Zim couldn’t interfere (he was grasping at straws and he knew that, but he would never admit to it). That, however, wouldn’t work. University would take up the majority of his time- time that _needed_ to be spent working on conquering the Earth for the Irken Armada. On top of that, going to a university- especially one as elite and important as the one that Dib was attending- would be _incredibly_ expensive and Zim had very little money- certainly not enough to blow on something that wouldn’t _truly_ help his mission.

Still, he needed to do _something_ other than constantly brooding within his base day in and day out. That would look far too suspicious and he couldn’t do anything that would put his mission in danger. 

So, Zim settled on getting himself a crappy part-time job and resigned himself to the fact that it wouldn’t be long before the human who had been a constant throughout his time on that backwater planet vanished for the foreseeable future. 

He refused to let it affect him. 

When the day that Dib finally set course to leave for the city rolled around, Zim found himself (not for the first time) peering at the human from around the corner of a house. His alien features were carefully hidden by the masterful disguise he wore. 

Irritation crossed his face as he saw Dib waving at his family, an idiotic grin spread across his face as if he really believed he was moving on to something better (perhaps he was). 

Even when the human finally spotted him and deigned to wave at Zim as well, he felt his blood boil, eyes narrowing further. 

It didn’t matter if Dib left him; he didn’t need the human.

~~~

Dib frowned slightly when Zim suddenly vanished. Not having the alien in his life was going to take some getting used to- and not constantly worrying about what terrible schemes Zim would attempt to pull of would be just as much of a struggle for him. 

He couldn’t just sit there in the backseat of the taxi cab, idling in his driveway as he worried about this, though. He didn’t have the time of day to sit there and talk himself out of what he was going to do. He had somewhere to be and he refused to back out of this now. Dib was too far in already and he didn’t think he could bear to see disappointment spread across his father’s face as decided to abandon the plans Membrane had made so he could go chasing ghosts and aliens like he always had. 

Shaking his head slightly, Dib did his best to push those thoughts from his mind. He had somewhere to be and he was on a schedule. He couldn’t let his worried hold him back. 

So, instead of continuing to sit there nervously, he leaned forward and offered the driver a shaky smile, “I’m ready.”


	2. Crisis

As Dib took his first few steps onto the campus of his new university, he couldn't help but smile in spite of himself. As he had made  _ abundantly _ clear to everyone in his immediate family- as well as anyone else who would listen (since, admittedly, no one in his immediate family was  _ actually _ good at listening)- Dib hadn’t been particularly excited to come here when Membrane finally began working on his final, last-ditch attempts to convince Dib to follow the path laid out for him. Perhaps it was the tired desperation painted across his father’s face, or maybe it was his own exhaustion from living his life the way he had for so long, but, regardless of the reason, he had caved. Despite everything he had always planned on working towards, and against his better judgement, he had given in.

And, now that he was here, he had to admit that there was something almost…  _ nice _ about it.

No one here knew him; he had a completely fresh start if he wanted. For once, when he wandered around, people didn't constantly shoot him dirty looks, casting hostile gazes his way as he went around his day. Unlike high school, he didn't find himself being purposefully avoided by those around him. People wouldn't turn around when they saw him or alter their paths when they ran into him. No one acted as though Dib was some sort of freak. 

Everyone acted like he was  _ normal _ .

"Normal" had never been a word that  _ anyone _ had ever used to describe Dib. Not his father, not his nemesis, not himself, and  _ certainly _ not his high school and middle school peers. He couldn't think of any instances in which he had been perceived as "normal". For Dib, "normal" was as far from his being as Neptune was from Earth- it was something that had never been associated with him in any way, and, for most of his life, that was how he wanted it to be. He was more than happy to be a weird, abnormal little freak in everyone else's eyes if it meant being  _ right _ \- if it meant actually  _ enjoying _ his life, then it was worth it. 

_ This _ , though… this was an entirely different experience for Dib. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he had been able to freely walk around on the campus of his school without being constantly regarded with some sort of disdain. For the most part, everyone looked at him the way they looked at everyone else. They didn’t look at him through tinted glasses that skewed their perception of him, warping him into some stupid monster before them. None of them looked at him the way that people at his previous schools had. As far as any of them knew, he was exactly like any of them. He was just as normal and typical as they were, and he didn’t stray from what was expected of him any more than the others did. 

In a lot of ways, the concept of being “normal” had never seemed too appealing to Dib. Despite his very clear lack of relationship with his father or any of his classmates in the past, he had always been, in one way or another, happy with himself and with how he was living his life. Sure, saying that he was  _ different _ was putting it lightly, but being “different” wasn’t inherently bad and Dib had never felt negatively towards himself because of his variation from those around him. In fact, he had almost always seen himself as above his previous peers due to it (and why wouldn’t he; he was more open-minded and aware of reality than any of the others were). Being different in the specific ways that he was made him happy. He was content with his differences. 

What Dib was  _ less _ content with was how people tended to treat him and act around him due to those differences. 

For the past several years, he had held nothing but resentment towards everyone who had ever treated him poorly because of his interests in the paranormal. He had always refused to change himself so that he could be seen as normal as everyone else was. Becoming  _ normal  _ was to not only fail himself, but to fail the entire world as everyone knew it. He wouldn’t do it- he  _ couldn’t _ do it. Dib wouldn’t allow himself to succumb to the cruelty that everyone hurled at him growing up. 

That was the mantra he had held close to his heart every single day as he pushed his way through middle school and high school. 

One day, they would see- they would  _ all _ see! When he was finally able to solidly prove to his peers and to his father that everything he had been attempting to convince them of throughout his life was true, everything would be better. Everyone would stop seeing him as the insane, failed son of the brilliant scientist that everyone looked up to so much. No longer would he be nothing more than the weird kid at school- he would be the person who was  _ right _ . He would be the person who saved the entire planet from a violent alien race and opened everyone’s eyes the reality of not just their world but the universe they inhabited as well. All he had to do was show them all the truth, then things would be fine. As soon as he did that, his life would be perfect. People would respect him the way they respected Professor Membrane. 

He just had to wait. People were stupid- absolutely  _ idiotic _ \- but they couldn’t be  _ that _ blind to completely overlook all of the evidence that Dib showed them throughout his life. Eventually, he would find good enough tangible evidence to change their minds. One day, he would get the support of everyone who had hurt and ignored him, claiming he was a crazed moron. 

He did his best to keep this mindset throughout his childhood. 

By the end of middle school, nothing had changed, but he had tried his hardest not to let that get to him. Of course, things hadn’t suddenly turned around during  _ middle school _ \- middle school was notoriously the worst. Everyone knew that the worst experiences of a person’s life occurred during middle school. It was only natural that things didn’t end up working out for him during those horrible years. It made perfect sense. 

Surely, during high school, things would get better. By then, they would be primarily out of the weird hormonal state that had plagued all of them during middle school, and their lives would be  _ slightly _ less hellish. Once they were in high school, everyone would be slightly smarter and more experienced in life. Certainly, if people were more well-versed in the oddities that the universe held, they would be more receptive of the things that Dib shared with them. 

Freshman year, though, passed with no change. 

No matter! Freshman year was still too close to middle school for it to truly be considered an entirely different experience. They were still in the odd transitional period between high school and middle school in their first year. Things would get better next year. He would prove himself then- he had to!

But Sophomore year passed without any change as well. 

And so did the next one. 

And the next. 

Dib did his best to keep telling himself the same things he had told himself to get through middle school. He did everything in his power to show the truth to everyone else, and, when that didn’t work, he did everything in his power to convince himself that, one day, that would change. He would just have to wait a  _ little longer _ and everything would be fine-  _ he _ would be fine.

There was only so much a person could take, however, before things finally started getting to them, and, much to Dib’s dismay, he was only human (no matter how many times he had attempted to deny it during his childhood). Despite his best attempts to keep his head above the dark waters of despair that constantly attempted to swallow him below the surface and drown him in the normalcy that everyone else suffered through, the more time that passed and the more he suffered through at the hands of “normal” people, the more difficult things became.

Now, Dib was positive that younger him would do everything he could to force Dib to turn around if he saw what he was doing now. If the Dib Membrane from just last year saw what he was finally starting to give into now and knew how he felt about it, there would be hell to pay. 

Here he was, though. Despite all of his violent, energetic, intense efforts, he was  _ here _ . After all this time, Dib Membrane, the paranormal scientist who had abandoned his school work to chase ghosts and spirits on multiple occasions, who had an extraterrestrial as a friendly nemesis, and who had always planned on ditching everything about typical life to chase his dreams, was in the very place he had always attempted to avoid. Despite everything, he was attending the very school his father had always pushed him towards. 

Willingly, with each step he took closer to the dorms, he was straying further and further from the path he had always wanted to follow. 

Of course, he didn’t  _ have _ to entirely abandon his long-time desires and passions. Even if he remained there, he wouldn’t have to do that, but, deep within, Dib knew that he couldn’t do that, not with the way everyone was looking at him- regarding him as though he was just another mundane normal like the rest of them.

Over the years, he had grown so used to the ways people looked at him and spoke about him that he practically became desensitized to it. Now that he was finally having the slightest taste of what it would be like to be normal, he was loving it. 

Perhaps it was pathetic how tangible the difference was. He should  _ not _ be able to  _ feel _ the difference between how people saw him here compared to in his past and  _ knew _ that. He knew it was almost heart-wrenchingly sad that the difference was so incredible that he could feel a difference just by being seen by others  _ without _ immediately and obviously being looked down upon. 

Yet here he was. 

Finally, he was in a place where no one knew who he truly was. No one here knew him, yet. They weren’t aware of who he had always been, and, for the first time in his life, Dib was beginning to wonder if being normal was worth it if it meant not being almost universally hated. Perhaps, with people seeing him as normal, they wouldn’t hate him- maybe he would even be able to make real  _ friends _ . 

It was  _ pathetic _ and  _ disgusting _ that something as simple as people looking at him slightly differently could have such a big impact on Dib, but, regardless, it gave him a spark of hope. 

It was almost overwhelming, the experience of walking in there and suddenly realizing that, maybe, just maybe, everything he had always told himself about avoiding being normal was wrong. Genuinely considering throwing everything he had worked towards away just because he was in a new, strange environment was insane and made him almost light-headed. 

Abandoning everything had never seemed as easy as it did just then,

Dib couldn’t believe he was doing this- he had never before let himself fall victim to the pressure of other people quite like this before. He couldn’t believe that something as simple as a slight change in environment could make him seriously consider changing the very course of his entire  _ life _ . This had never happened before, and he sure as hell hadn’t been anticipating something like this.

But, as Dib continued making his way towards his dorm, a map of the campus clutched in his hands, he supposed that there was a first time for everything. 

~~~

No matter what Zim kept telling himself, no matter how many passionate, self-reassuring soliloquies he gave in the middle of his base, he wasn’t truly okay with what had happened earlier. 

Zim knew full well that Dib was his enemy- they fought too frequently and too intensely for either of them to  _ ever _ forget that, no matter what kind of peaceful, almost  _ friendly _ moments fell between the two of them when they weren’t battling- but that didn’t change how he felt. Oddly, Zim felt as though he had been abandoned by Dib. Despite the fact that Zim constantly viewed himself as a powerful, almighty, loner who could conquer entire solar systems on his own, and who had never truly seen anyone beyond GIR as a genuine friend of his, he felt almost as though he was being left by someone  _ important to him _ . 

Dib wasn’t important to Zim- at least not in a genuine way. Of course, the Dib was on Zim’s mind almost constantly, but that was due to the fact that he was one of the only things standing between him and world domination. Zim worried about him quite a bit, but that was, again, because he was a nuisance to him and his plans. Dib got in Zim’s way and messed things up for him constantly, so it only made sense that he thought about him a lot. Perhaps Zim cared about Dib’s well-being and worried about him falling victim to some Earth ailment or human action that would kill him, but that was  _ not _ because Zim wanted him in his life- it was because he wanted to be  _ directly _ responsible for whatever bad things happened to Dib (Dib was  _ his _ nemesis-  _ he _ was the only person allowed to ruin his life)!

Zim cared about Dib a lot, but not the way a  _ friend _ would- Dib was  _ not _ Zim’s friend. 

Zim had almost never considered anyone to be a friend of his- let alone an inhabitant of the very planet that he had been sent to overthrow and destroy- and he certainly wasn’t going to start  _ now _ . Dib wasn’t a friend of his, and he knew it. There was barely even anything between the two of them that could be considered “friendly” by any human definitions of the word. As far as Zim was aware, human friends didn’t typically spend their time constantly trying to destroy the other’s plans and violently take their lives. Most friends didn’t fantasize about experimenting on and vivisecting their comrades. 

Friends supported and loved one another and it was abundantly clear that neither Dib nor Zim felt that towards the other. They both lived to take down the other and did everything in their power to get in the way of achieving their dreams (something that  _ actual _ friends wouldn’t do), and Zim was absolutely  _ positive _ that he had never felt anything even resembling love-  _ especially _ not towards a creature as disgusting and lowly as a human.

By all normal definitions of the word, Zim and Dib were about as far from friends as they could possibly be. There was no good reason for him to feel distraught about the Dib no longer being in his life- in fact, he should, by all means, be  _ grateful _ for the human’s disappearance. Considering it meant fewer obstacles for Zim, losing Dib should have filled him with nothing but relief. 

Despite knowing all of that for a fact, Zim still felt oddly… lonely without having Dib in his life. He told himself that is was boredom- that things would become far too simple and easy for him to accomplish without Dib creating an obstacle for him (after all, battles with Dib of any kind were always fun, and made all of his plans more interesting, even if they nearly always got in the way of his mission in one way or another). He told himself that it was something violent- something deep inside of him that made him hate the idea of it being someone else who ruined Dib’s life. He told himself that it was his pride- that he  _ refused _ to allow his arch-enemy just run away from him like a coward rather than facing him directly. 

Deep down, though, he wasn’t entirely sure how true any of that was.

As he always did with emotions that were confusing and unpleasant, Zim did everything he could to ignore it. He was an Irken Invader, after all, and Irken Invaders were not so weak as to crumple and give up because of something as ridiculous and petty as this. Irkens weren’t like humans in that regard; they weren’t  _ emotional _ . They didn’t get attached. 

No matter how hard Zim tried to brush those feelings away, though, they stubbornly remained. As strange as it was, Zim felt almost empty with Dib gone, and he couldn’t quite place exactly  _ why _ he felt it. 

It wasn’t as though losing Dib would hinder his creative process or harm his mission- in fact, it would almost certainly  _ help _ both of those in more ways than one. He wasn’t reliant on Dib for help seeming more normal or human (thankfully, considering Zim was positive that both of them were too obstinate and hateful for  _ that _ to work out for him). Really, there was very little that Zim gained from the human. Beyond occasional camaraderie and entertainment, having Dib around didn’t benefit him very much. 

From a logical standpoint, Zim didn’t  _ need _ Dib. 

So why did he feel so… empty? Why did losing him create an ache deep within his chest that made him want to curl up on the couch, lost in his own head and separate from the rest of the world for hours? 

Regardless of the fact that Zim couldn’t explain the feelings, he allowed himself to succumb to them, and found himself drifting into an almost comatose state, zoning out entirely as he slumped bonelessly onto the couch in the middle of the base.

Stupid fucking human.


	3. Calm Before

By the time Dib arrived at his dorm room, the person who he presumed to be his roommate had already arrived. He had curly brown hair and deep, dark brown eyes to match. It was only the first day, so they had no  _ real _ work to do, but he was already holding a piece of slightly crumpled paper close to his face, eyes boring into it intensely as he carefully studied whatever the contents of it was. He seemed deep in thought and incredibly intrigued by what he was looking at. 

Avoiding people and doing his best to block everyone out (while the rest of the world did the exact same thing to him) was something Dib had grown rather used to after so many years of making his best (yet, tragically, in vain) attempts to reveal the truth to everyone. It was something that had, in all truthfulness, impacted him deeply as a child. It had hurt ridiculously back then, and, even now, was still something that aggravated (and sometimes saddened) him. After growing so used to it, though, it felt almost instinctual to give everyone he came across the cold shoulder, ignoring them as much as they ignored him. 

For the first time in years, he decided that he wasn't going to do that. 

He was sick and tired of always being overlooked by  _ everyone _ around him. Constantly being seen as the insane, weird kid of their school had started off bad and had slowly fermented into something far worse- something that made him nearly violent with anger and resentment. 

Finally, Dib was someplace new, and he wasn't going to let himself be overlooked again. 

And ensuring that started here, with Dib doing the same thing to the others he came across- with Dib making  _ sure _ that others couldn't ignore him. 

Dib cleared his throat, eyes still trained on the other guy before him, attempting to pull him from whatever the depths of his mind held so they could instead introduce themselves to one another (Dib  _ assumed _ that's what they were supposed to do, now that they would be living together for at least the next year). 

Instead of peacefully drawing him from his thoughts, the sound Dib made nearly caused the other guy to jump out of his skin, eyes widening as he noticed Dib in the room with him, an embarrassingly high-pitched squeak escaping his throat fearfully. Both the movement and house started Dib as well, causing him to take a step back, nearly running into the door behind him as he did so. He really hadn't made the best first impression, had he? It wasn't shocking that he had already managed to turn this interaction into something entirely different from what he had anticipated, but it was still unfortunate that he was already messing things up from the get-go.

Thankfully, though, the other guy calmed back down quickly, seemingly realizing almost immediately that Dib wasn't a threat. 

Once both of them had calmed down from their little moment of shock, a beat of heavy silence fell over them almost suffocating. It only lasted a moment, though, before both of them chuckled nervously, the tension slowly draining. 

Once their somewhat awkward laughter tapered off, the other guy broke the silence, "So… you must be my roommate, I guess?"

"Yeah," Dib nodded, offering him a small, somewhat awkward smile before reaching out to shake hands, "My name's Dib."

"I'm Mason," he returned the smile as he shook his hand. 

That was when Dib noticed what it was the other guy- Mason- had clutched in his free hand. 

"What's that?" He squinted at it quizzically. He could have sworn he'd seen-

"It's a flyer for a sort of paranormal club at the school," Mason explained, grin returning to his face as he excitedly showed the paper to Dib, "Apparently, there are a lot of supposedly haunted places around here."

"Seriously?!" Dib blinked owlishly in surprise- how could he have  _ not _ known about there being a  _ paranormal club  _ here? That was  _ exactly _ the kind of thing he should attend while here if he wanted to be able to please his father  _ and _ himself while going there. Maybe he could actually make everything work out! 

Then it struck Dib, "Wait a minute- you're interested in that stuff?" 

Mason visibly deflated slightly, a more bashful and reserved expression on his face now, as if he was expecting some terrible reaction from his new roommate regarding the flyer, "Well… yeah, I think it's interesting."

"That's  _ fantastic _ !" Dib beamed. He could swear he practically had stars in eyes. 

It didn't take long before the two of them dissolved into a happy, comfortable conversation about their favourite paranormal creatures and swapped stories about the different paranormal adventures they had each gone on (evidently, Mason and his sister had had nearly just as many strange and interesting stories to tell as Dib did). They were quickly learning more and more about one another and it was within minutes of their discussion that Dib realized, maybe Mason could truly be his  _ friend _ .

For once, things seemed to be working out. Not only did the school he ended up attending have a paranormal club with- supposedly- several different odd and haunted sites nearby, but his roommate was  _ also _ interested in the same things he was and believed what he said! Maybe he really could make this work. Perhaps he could actually find a way to get through this- to make his father proud of him and happy while also making  _ himself _ happy and surrounding himself with the things he loved. He could pursue the things he  _ needed _ to pursue while also chasing after the things he  _ wanted _ . He could surround himself with people who saw him as the genius scientist son of Professor Membrane as well as people who saw him as a mastermind for entirely different things- for the things he  _ cared about _ . 

He could make this work, and he wouldn't have to be alone  _ or _ give up what he wanted. 

Dib would be okay.

~~~

While Dib was having his first real experience at university and, strangely enough,  _ enjoying it _ , Zim was having a decidedly far less  _ pleasant _ time. 

Yet again, Zim was slumped uncomfortably on the couch in the centre of his base, not having moved from his position at all since he initially sat down hours ago. His eyes were glazed over and unfocused as he lay there, allowing his mind to wander, no matter how much he attempted to stay focused on something else-  _ anything _ else. 

Not having Dib around was going to be… strange, to say the least. It was different and, as good as Zim considered himself to be at adapting to most things, there were certain changes that he just… didn't want to experience. 

A future without Dib was not one Zim had ever imagined once he had arrived there and met him- at least he couldn't imagine a future on Earth that didn't involve him. At this point, he wasn't even certain if he could picture a future in which he returned to Irk without Dib at his side. Even if he returned to his homeland and went back to the Tallests, he didn't want to leave Dib behind, and he hadn't for white some time now.

Even so, he had onto ever envisioned futures in which  _ Zim _ was the one who left their city to return to the Massive and to join his people (usually, with Dib right there beside him in these fantasies of the future). He had never imagined that  _ Dib _ would be the person to leave  _ him _ . This was Dib's home after all. It was where his family resided and where he had grown up. It was where the two of them had been for the past several years, where they had become friends and gone on all of their adventures together. The very thought of Dib leaving this place behind- leaving  _ Zim _ behind- hadn't even been considered by the Irken in the first place. 

Now that it was their reality, though, he was just confused. 

Overthrowing this stupid little world would be far easier without Dib distracting him at every turn, both by directly attempting to stop his efforts and by dragging him along on fun little voyages that had nothing to do with Zim's mission. No longer would he have to worry about Dib preventing him from doing what he needed to do. No longer would he have go carve time out of his already busy schedule to make time to go ghost hunting and paranormal investigating with Dib. Everything would be easier without him there, constantly making everything difficult and irksome for him.

So why did he feel so… terrible?

Zim closed his eyes- why bother keeping them open when he wasn't engaging them in the first place? He wasn't sad, he assured himself. It wasn't that he felt upset of put out about the Dib-Thing leaving (there was no reason for him to feel badly about that), he was just… tired. He just needed to rest. 

Even if Irkens didn't need to sleep, it was a good way to pass the time and, sometimes, he woke up feeling a bit better than he did before he fell asleep (especially if he had been feeling incredibly bored beforehand). 

Zim let out a deep, long sigh, forcing himself to relax as much as he possibly could without moving. He didn't bother changing positions or laying down properly so he could sleep in a more comfortable position. There was no point, really. This was just so he would feel better later- this was just to pass the time and take his mind off of all the things he wished he could force out of his skull.

He would work on taking over the world without Dib getting in the way when he woke up and felt better. His state would improve when he woke up- he knew it. He would be fine by then.

~~~

Orientation hadn’t been too bad, and, if Dib was being honest, he had almost  _ enjoyed _ it. With Mason by his side, he didn’t feel as worried about conversing with other people, and, whenever there was a dull moment or an awkward lull during their time, they were able to talk to one another, continuing the conversation they had been holding back in their dorm room before they had left. He was an interesting person and he was one of the only human beings Dib had met that was  _ his age _ who was  _ also  _ interested in the paranormal just like he was! It was amazing, and Dib had the feeling that having Mason around would make a lot of things about attending this school far easier to deal with. With a roommate (and friend!) who shared the same interests as he did, university was certain to be far more bearable. 

He was finding himself genuinely looking forward to starting his classes. If the first person he had met upon entering that school happened to be interested in the same things as Dib was  _ and _ had had experiences similar to Dib’s, leading to him fully believing the things he said, maybe there were other people like him. Dib already knew about the paranormal club, thanks to Mason, but maybe it was more than just  _ that _ . Maybe interests that were typically considered strange and abnormal were more typical and highly accepted here.  _ Maybe _ there were other people there who believed him, even if they weren’t particularly interested in the paranormal themselves- or who at least respected him enough to hear him out and listen to his evidence. Considering he had already met one person interested in the same things as him, had already been informed of a club surrounding it, and had already heard of a few of the strange ghost stories surrounding his new school (thanks, freshman orientation director!), he had a feeling that being interested in the paranormal wouldn’t be as frowned upon as it was in his hometown. Taking into account the fact that Dib had met absolutely  _ no _ people (well,  _ humans _ ) who believed him and respected his thoughts and work in his own city and was already finding them here, it didn’t seem like too crazy of an idea. 

Dib had been planning on hiding parts of himself while here and in front of the vast majority of the people he came into contact with. Avoiding ostracization was, unfortunately, pretty high up on his list of things he wanted to focus his time and energy on avoiding, but maybe he wouldn’t have to hide himself to avoid that.  _ Maybe _ he could be openyl, unapologetically himself without being harassed about it as he had been back in middle school and high school. 

_ Maybe _ . 

It was still just a possibility and nothing more, but it was already more than Dib had been expecting and it was enough to give him more hope than he had come in with. He would have to test the waters, of course- he wasn’t going to let himself become overzealous so easily and drive in head-first. Dib was smart enough to know that he would have to see how things went and test his theory a little before giving in to his desires (one of the many things that he had learned from both his father and his old peers). He would wait until he was certain, first. He wasn’t going to get too ahead of himself, no matter how much he wanted to and how giddy he felt at the mere thought of it. 

Even if he knew he would have to wait for it, he was excited about the prospect. 

At the moment, though, that wasn’t what was important. For right now, he would focus on things that normal college students would focus on. It was still his first day officially there and, like everyone else, he still had nearly no clue what it was he was doing. He would have to learn the ropes just like every other person attending his university did. There were lots of things for him to figure out before he even had the possibility of thinking too much about other things (or so Dib assumed, he had never done this before so he wasn’t really sure, but, according to the media, college students had almost  _ no _ time on their hands, especially at the start). 

Just like everyone else, he would figure out how to deal with his new schedule and class, slowly adapting to the strangeness of being in a completely different setting than what he was used to. He would have to navigate the elaborate, twisting map that made up their campus and he would have to work out properly managing his time on his own without relying on anyone else like they were able to back in grade school (not that Dib had ever really allowed himself to rely on the others all that much, even back then). 

Contrary to how he  _ thought _ he should feel, Dib was genuinely excited about that. He was more than ready to begin this new chapter of his life and take part in the new experiences that came with it. He looked forward to being surrounded by completely different people and able to experiment with different classes and clubs that interested him. The very concept of being able to live away from his father and sister was refreshing, even if their home had been large enough to fit all of them without them bothering one another frequently. The change in scenery was refreshing, and he was glad that he had a new space to live in and a new person to coexist with. 

Coexist. Right,  _ Zim _ .

Briefly, Dib let his mind wander to the alien he had left back at home. Dib wasn’t entirely certain whether or not he was worried about what kind of damage he might cause. His instincts told him that he should still be wary of Zim, considering the fact that his entire goal at the moment was to destroy his entire planet for the intergalactic Armada that he hailed from. Another part of his brain, however, reminded him that, despite all of the time Zim had spent there, and despite all of the intelligence and power that the alien clearly possessed, he hadn’t been able to destroy the world before. 

Sure, Dib had been there before, but he could hardly attribute Zim’s failures to his own efforts (or, at least, not  _ all _ of them). Zim was easily distracted and, despite how much he talked about how horrible and primitive his planet was and how deeply he was revolted by everything that existed on it, it was glaringly obvious that Zim was intrigued by it. On more than one occasion, Dib had waltzed into Zim’s base to thwart his plans only to be met by the sight of the Irken practically consumed by his own curiosity as he experimented on some random aspect of his home planet. It was hilarious and almost endearing (and gave Dib a good reason to poke fun at Zim), but it didn’t exactly make him the most intimidating creature ever. Sure, he was powerful and smart, but he was also constantly finding other, seemingly mundane and entirely unrelated things to fill his time with instead of focusing on his main mission. 

Plus, oddly enough, over their many years together, Zim and Dib had grown closer to one another, forming something akin to friendship with one another. Sure, they still had their conflicts (how could they not when they were naturally pinned against one another?), but that didn’t mean that they couldn’t enjoy sharing one another’s company. 

Of all of the people Dib had grown up with, Zim was the most interesting (though he had to admit, that was an  _ incredibly _ biased assessment and the other human kids stood no chance against a literal alien creature). Not only that, but he had also been more than willing to listen to Dib ramble about the things that interested him the most and had even gone on several adventures with him over their time together. They had worked together well when they weren’t trying to tear one another apart, and Dib had genuinely appreciated his friendship.

Zim may have been his natural-born enemy, but he was also Dib’s friend. 

Needless to say, he was more than a little conflicted. He hadn’t been gone long enough to truly miss him, and he had been too busy to think about it for too long, but he had the feeling that that would change very soon. 

True to Dib’s expectations, he wasn’t able to focus on Zim for much longer before Mason interrupted his thoughts, reminding him that they didn’t have much more time if they wanted to catch dinner. 

Dib tore himself away from his thoughts as he exited his dorm room with his new friend. Maybe he would call Zim later to keep him updated on the things that happened to him there. 

Afterwards. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if updates for this are slow! The world is testing me and my patience.


	4. First Day

To say that Zim was stubborn was a massive understatement. He refused to give in, regardless of the situation, and would  _ never _ accept defeat, even if it was clear to everyone else that he had already lost with no hope to recover from it. 

Despite the fact that he hadn't spoken to the Tallests in what seemed like years (and, truthfully, didn't even have any confirmation of their status as dead or alive), he continued to consider himself an Irken Soldier working under the Armada. After being told he was no longer welcome as an official part of the Armada and being banished long ago, he refused to accept that he had been kicked out in the first place, returning the moment he heard of something going on that interested him. 

He refused to acknowledge the fact that he had been given a faulty SIR Unit on purpose, still believing full-heartedly that GIR was simply the way he was so as to not tip off anyone on this planet. He was strange and  _ seemed _ useless (from a logical standpoint, obviously) sometimes, but that wasn't entirely accurate. He  _ was _ useful and, even if he seemed strange, GIR was a highly advanced piece of technology. Zim refused to even consider that anything was- or had ever been- wrong with GIR, let alone entertain the thought that he had been given a fault one purposefully. 

Even back when he attended school normally, masquerading as a typical student just as everyone else was, he refused to accept that anyone there could surpass him in any way. Even in small matters, if Dib did better than him in school, Zim would play it off and pretend it had never happened, convincing himself that it hadn't occurred in the first place and, more importantly, that it wouldn't have bothered him in the slightest if it  _ had _ occurred. 

Now, he was pretending that Dib being gone didn't bother him. He told himself constantly that it didn't matter- that  _ Dib _ didn't matter. He refused to accept the fact that Dib had left him and that the knowledge of him leaving left a painful ache in his heart no matter how long he waited. 

Zim was  _ stubborn _ . Too stubborn to admit to experiencing any emotions whatsoever. Regardless of whether that emotion was positive or negative, it was a sign of weakness- and Zim was too stubborn to show any weakness. Even if expressing emotions wasn't as looked down upon in human culture as it was in Irken culture, Zim refused it. With that, he was  _ far _ too stubborn to back down or be the first to cave 

Now that so much time had passed since he'd last seen Dib, though, he felt himself beginning to crack. 

It was not a sign of weakness! And it  _ certainly _ wasn't a show of his emotions. He wasn't being insecure- things were just  _ odd _ without Dib around, even if the human had been a nuisance and working on projects for his mission were a little less fulfilling without him around as well.

Perhaps he should reach out to the human. It wasn't because he  _ missed him _ or anything, nor was it because he was worried about how Dib was doing in his new local. He was simply … curious. Of course it was nothing more than curiosity. If Zim wanted to do well on his missions to take over the world, he would need to know everything he possibly could about this planet. Contacting Dib and finding out how things were going for him would help Zim with his mission. That was it. 

Naturally, because of this- and  _ only _ this- Zim decided that he should call Dib. It would allow him to gather more helpful information for his mission  _ and _ it would let him figure out whether or not Dib was still a "threat" to his missions. It would benefit him greatly. Plus, he had a bit of time on his hands, since he had gotten through his most recent projects rather quickly without Dib there to thwart him (although, even when Dib  _ had _ been there, the majority of the thwarting happened  _ after _ Zim finished his projects) or distract him (something that had, admittedly, happened a lot). 

Upon dialing Dib's number- one of the only contacts he had in his human phone (the phone he had begrudgingly gotten so that he could do normal human things without looking suspicious (and, to a  _ far _ lesser extent, so he could talk to Dib as well))- he set his device to speaker phone. Zim typically set his phone to speaker when he talked to others- namely Dib- on his mobile. Usually, Zim did this because he often spoke to Dib as he did work on his projects and experiments, using his voice and their banter to keep himself from growing too bored and to help ground him. Now, he did the same more out of habit than anything else. 

With the sound of the dial tone droning repetitively in the background, Zim began to pace. Giving himself something to do as he waited for Dib to pick up. Doing something physically while he was listening to or thinking about something always helped him stay focused and prevent his mind from wandering too much. Though this wasn’t a situation in which his mind was likely to wander too far, it had become somewhat of a habit for Zim, much like talking using the speaker even when he wasn’t doing something else had become. 

Usually, Dib would answer Zim’s calls rather quickly, unless it was one of the days back in high school where Zim skipped school to focus on something else while Dib attended his classes as usual. Otherwise, Dib would usually pick up nearly immediately, even if he wasn’t going to focus on their conversation entirely when he did so. Much like Zim, Dib frequently did other things while he spoke to Zim on the phone in the background, chatting mindlessly as the two of them focused on more important or immediately necessary things. 

This time, though, the call was declined almost immediately.

Zim stopped his pacing in his tracks so he could instead stare down at his phone quizzically for a few moments. 

It was entirely plausible that Dib had ignored his call because he was simply busy with something else or in the middle of a class at the moment. Considering it was roughly midday at that point and in the middle of the week, it made sense for Dib to be busy with school. The timing was right- logically, it wasn’t very likely for Dib to answer his phone at the moment. Things were changing for Dib just as intensely and quickly as (if not more so than) it was for Zim. It was natural for him to be busy with something or another as he adjusted to life being so different for him and to the new, supposedly more difficult classes that he was attending there. 

Still, Zim couldn’t help but feel a little bit… lonely. He had felt abandoned before, but this, somehow, made him feel even worse. 

Dib leaving him-  _ everyone _ \- behind to go off to school had certainly hurt, no matter how much Zim had ignored the feelings it caused or how much he rationalized the situation. This was a different thing entirely, though. 

Even when Dib had left, there had always been the possibility of things not changing too much between them. Secretly, Zim had clung to the hope that their friendship would be able to work out despite the distance and the differences in their lives. He’d been able to believe that they would still talk to one another regularly as they once had; still have their little meet-ups every once in a while- even if they weren’t able to see one another every week- to go on adventures together or even just watch movies and play video games together. 

As obvious as it had seemed, Zim hadn’t  _ truly _ thought that they would completely stop interacting with one another. Of course, it hadn’t been long since Dib had left- there was always the chance that, eventually, they  _ would _ be able to make things work as they once had. Zim just… hadn’t wanted to acknowledge that things would change as much as it felt like they had. 

Zim was stubborn when it came to thinking about and accepting even some of the most obvious things in his life, it made sense for this to be just one more thing that the Irken pretended wouldn’t happen. 

Now, though, it was becoming harder to pretend that things wouldn’t change- that they weren’t  _ already _ changing. 

Life was different without Dib and the differences in his life were… pretty unwelcome. It was strange in a way that new things usually weren't for him. Being sent to Earth had meant leaving the Massive and his original home for a great deal of time. Even if he would  _ technically  _ be able to return to the Armads eventually, he would be gone for a very long time, meaning he would have to adapt to a new way of life. That had been a far bigger change than Dib leaving for college, but, for some reason, it hadn't impacted him internally nearly as much. 

The transition from the Massive to Earth hadn't been too taxing or overwhelming for Zim. It had been nothing but thrilling for him. The change had, obviously, been strange and it had been a bit difficult for him to adapt to being so secretive about his identity. Even with how strange it had been, he hadn't found it intimidating or irritating because he had been so excited about being sent on a special, secret mission to help the Armada with the second Impending Doom mission. He had been too excited about being part of something this big to be scared or overwhelmed by his mission to Earth. He hadn't even  _ thought _ about missing being back on the ship where there was a normal routine of things or being surrounded by the other Irkens he already knew. 

With Dib being gone, though, that wasn't the case in the slightest. 

Unlike leaving the Massive for his mission, he found himself beginning to  _ miss _ Dib. He didn't like the break in their routine and not being able to see him- or at least speak to him- nearly every day. Being able to hang out with Dib had been interesting and special for him in a way that being with other Irkens never had been. They'd had friendly rituals between them that they went through regularly. Considering they weren't part of his mission, he had never seen them as dire, but, truthfully, they had been incredibly important  _ to him _ . 

He'd enjoyed his time with Dib; whether they were at each other's throats and attempting to ruin the other's plans or barely talking as they worked on something for school together or having fun enjoying the company of one another, he had always been happy to be around Dib (once they had gotten over the first hurdle in their relationship of evolving from "enemies who hate and want to violently destroy each other" to "enemies who also care about one another and consider themselves to be friends").

Now, without having Dib and all of their rituals in his life, Zim felt… sad.

Before Zim had met Dib, he had never had a friend like him- not truly. He had had allies and training partners back in the Armada, but no one who was there for him quite like Dib. No one who he had been able to share everything with- that he had  _ wanted _ to share everything with. Any close relationships he had wanted to pursue with anyone else had all been for more straight-forward and logical purposes; he had only ever wanted to be close to someone because it would be beneficial for him to have them as an ally or because it would help him get further as an Irken Invader. This was the first time Zim had ever had a "pure"- or, at least, as close to "pure" as the Irken was capable of having- relationship. Dib was his first true friend and the first person he had ever  _ wanted _ to befriend. Even now that he had formed a few other relationships with a select few humans, Dib remained the closest one- his "best friend", so to speak. 

He had never seen the benefit of having normal friendships like the one he shared with Dib while he was still with the Armada. They had never made much sense to him and camaraderie had never been too important to him. Friendship had always been nothing more than a meaningless distraction that he could never see himself truly entertaining. 

Now that he had lost his truest, closest friend… he finally knew what he had been missing all those years back. 

He missed it- he missed Dib. 

Zim didn't know what he was going to do.

~~~

Dib hated to admit it. Sincerely, he did. 

Much like his best friend back home, Dib was an incredibly stubborn person who never liked to admit that he had been wrong (or, more accurately, that his father had been  _ right _ ). In this situation, though, he had to begrudgingly admit that he was actually  _ enjoying _ his time here- so far, at least. 

There were things he genuinely liked about being there, and, with his kind new roommate and the intriguing paranormal club to check out, he felt confident about how everything else would go. Dib even found himself looking forward to the classes that his father had pressured him to sign up for. 

In fact, the one that Dib was currently headed to was an astronomy course- the class that he was the most excited about. Not only was this class something that his father approved of and had “encouraged” him to take, but it was also something that played into what he was most interested in. Sure, the astronomy course that he would be taking here wouldn’t be anywhere near as thorough and interesting as anything Zim told and showed to him would be, but it was still something! It could give him basic insight into what humans currently knew about the depths of space. Maybe it could even help him if- no, not  _ if _ ,  _ when _ \- he went beyond the reaches of their own planet. 

Yes, this would be good for him. This would help him. 

Much like when he first stepped into the taxi to head to his university for the first time, this was the mantra Dib silently repeated to himself nearly endlessly as he made his way to the classroom printed on his schedule and hunted for a place to sit. 

The room was fairly large and circular in shape, the chairs and long table-desks arranged to follow the curvature of the classroom, each row elevated slightly more than the one in front of it to allow for everyone to see the professor clearly, regardless of the distance. The professor's desk was situated in the front of the room, centred on the far wall. A projector hung above the professor's desk, aimed at the wall, creating a flicker of mildly tinted light spread across the section.

The room was clean- far cleaner than the high school and middle school he had attended back in his home school. The very sight of it didn't make Dib nauseous (or tempted to scare Zim with all of the germs there (that was the  _ only _ good thing about how horribly disgusting their old school had been)). The room even had fully functional lights in the ceiling and none of the windows were broken. 

Mildly relieved by the fact that his new university was already far less revolting than his old school, Dib made his way to the back of the room, taking a seat there and making himself comfortable. He didn't have much of a need to use any of the supplies he had obtained before he left at the moment, so he didn't bother getting anything out of his backpack just yet, instead looking around the room and taking everything in as he waited for the class to officially start. 

The room was filled with a variety of different people. The majority of them looked like stereotypical nerds in one way or another, but, unlike his middle and high school, they didn't all seem vaguely like copy-pasted versions of one another (though maybe that was because Dib was biased against those from his previous schools).

Dib had arrived early enough to not worry about being late, but, thankfully, hadn’t arrived so early that he wound up sitting in the classroom awkwardly as he waited for the professor to finally arrive. 

Unsurprisingly, the first day wasn’t focused on much of anything that could really be considered productive. Instead, they spent the majority of the time during their class going over the syllabus, discussing what would be expected of them in class, talking about what the final would be like, and introducing themselves to one another in a, frankly, pretty awkward manner. 

That day, when the class was over, Dib realized that he hadn't felt as though he needed to flee the entire time he was there like he did back in high school. He didn't spend the entire time staring at the clock and waiting for it to finally be over, nor did he kill time during the class by drawing up plans throughout the entirety of it.

Dib had gotten through the entire class, and, when it was over, no one escaped the room by leaping from the windows. 

Things were already looking up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I genuinely don't have any words. I would like to get chapters out more frequently but things have been yikes. Sorry.


	5. A Little Too Much

Unlike the first day (or, more accurately,  _ week _ considering how different his new schedule was compared to that of his high school’s) of university, the second and third weeks were… a bit more  _ stressful _ . 

The first days of classes there had mostly been carefully and painstakingly going over the syllabus as if the professor was not entirely confident that all of their students had the ability to properly read (something that dib expected from his middle and high school but that felt a little strange in such an elite university such as this one- not that he was complaining). After that, though, they immediately became quite a bit more demanding- not just in comparison to the first day but in comparison to both high school and every expectation Dib had ever had about university. 

Dib had never relied on his father for much of anything beyond using the technology that he had to excess. Because of that, he didn’t have the same issue that a lot of incoming university freshmen had of struggling to get used to managing their own time. He had almost always had to rely on himself to get up and head out for school on time, considering how busy membrane  _ always _ was both throughout Dib’s childhood and current adulthood (if one could even really call this  _ adulthood _ ). That wasn’t the issue that Dib had- nor was struggling with actively motivating himself to put forth the effort required to succeed in his classes. 

Dib’s issue was with, well…  _ learning _ (okay and  _ maybe _ a little bit with time management as well). 

It pissed Dib off to no end that he was experiencing this- and it in equal amounts confused him. He hated the fact that he was like the stereotypical “smart kid” types in fiction- the type of character that had excelled and exceeded all expectations in middle school and high school only to suddenly have a ridiculously difficult time in university, going from being the smart person in the room to… well…  _ not _ . 

Call it “gifted kid burnout”, if you will, but, regardless of the phrase or term to most accurately describe it, Dib was  _ seriously _ feeling it. 

Admittedly, over the years, Dib had gotten used to putting forth incredibly minimal amounts of effort to keep up in his classes. He had never had to truly  _ try _ to succeed at his old school. He was way smarter than the majority of his classmates (unsurprising, considering who his father was, he supposed) and even the most advanced classes in his school were incredibly easy for him to get through with little to no effort. In fact, in the majority of his classes, Dib had been able to spend nearly the entire time working on figuring out what Zim’s next move was and how to stop it or planning his next paranormal adventure or plotting his next experiment or even just doing something as simple and sometimes mindless as doodling in the pages of his notebook. He hadn’t needed to  _ try _ to do well in his classes and he had never had the issue of managing his time when it came to having to decide between doing what he  _ had _ to do as far as schoolwork went and what he  _ wanted _ to do as far as his passions went. He had never  _ needed _ to choose between the two of them- at least not when it came to devotion of time. 

Now, Dib suddenly had to spend a  _ lot _ more time on his school work and put forth  _ far _ more energy to do well than he had ever needed to. 

It wasn’t that Dib was suddenly failing all of his classes and couldn’t keep up at all- he  _ could _ , he just needed to work far harder than he ever had in the past to do so and it was more than a little overwhelming. The change from putting forth nearly no energy to putting forth  _ all _ of his was… a lot. He spent far more time on each individual class at university than he ever had in high school. Between attending the regular classes and lectures, working on assignments and projects, and studying to keep up and maintain the grades that he wanted- that he  _ needed _ (Dib  _ refused _ to let his grades slip more out of stubbornness and pride than out of an actual  _ desire _ to do well)- Dib could spend an entire day dedicating his time and energy to a single class. 

He often found himself either in his shared dorm, hidden in the corner of the library, or even tucked under the shadow of a nearby tree with all of his textbooks, notebooks, papers, and other various supplies spread out around him as he intently poured over everything for that class. He spent hours reading the textbooks he had,  _ tragically _ , been forced to purchase for the classes he took (Dib was  _ far _ from struggling financially considering who his father was, but Dib had enough of a grip on reality to know that the fees for textbooks were absolutely  _ ridiculous _ for any person with an average income). He went through dozens of pencils quickly between snapping them in half from stress or anger and wearing them down from writing so much for each class. His vision blurred from staring at the pages of his work for so long. 

After spending  _ hours _ working on the projects for his classes and studying studiously, he almost always felt so drained and exhausted that he almost always passed out the moment he returned to his dorm and unceremoniously fell into his bed without bothering to shower or change. On some days, when he was up ridiculously late as he worked, he even occasionally fell asleep  _ while  _ he was working or studying- not much of an issue when falling asleep at one’s own desk but  _ definitely _ uncomfortable and a bit of a problem when falling asleep underneath a tree out in the general public where anyone could find him and report him for supposed drug usage (an unfortunate encounter that Dib was  _ not _ proud of). 

On these particularly long and stressful days, Dib would wake up after a couples hours of sleep with his clothes wrinkles and bunched around his form uncomfortable, his hair sticking up stupidly, his glasses askew, and his body inevitably aching in  _ some _ way from whatever uncomfortable and unusual position he had managed to fall asleep in on that occasion. 

He wasn’t doing  _ terribly _ in his classes. He was doing a little above average, in fact, but the change was still  _ far _ more than Dib would have liked. He wasn’t used to needing to dedicate so much of his time to learning things he didn’t actively  _ want _ to learn about and he wasn’t used to falling asleep in the middle of studying for classes rather than in the middle of reading articles and stories of paranormal encounters. 

It was draining. 

Still! Dib had time for other things, even if his passions now  _ had _ to take the backseat in his life due to his newly increased time dedicated to school. The time came far less frequently than it had just a year prior, but it was still there, no matter how minute, and that was something that Dib held onto tightly. 

Thankfully, unlike high school, Dib didn’t have to attend seven or eight classes every single day. Instead, he had various classes sprinkled throughout the week,  _ occasionally _ having two or three classes shortly after one another. As strange and difficult as that was, it was a relief to have a bit more control over his schedule than Dib had once had  _ and _ it meant that he would sometimes have unexpectedly empty days in the middle of the week (a random Wednesday off was  _ always _ welcomed). 

Dib was lucky enough to have been able to work out a fairly decent schedule for himself as far as class spacing went. He had managed to have a schedule that gave him relatively minimal overlap in the class department, sometimes having just one long class a day or having two or three that only lasted for roughly an hour each. For the most part, he was able to dedicate as much time as necessary to each individual class, no one specific class dominating his time and effort too much and forcing the others into the back of his mind. 

And, luckily, there were several days where he had  _ no _ classes. 

That didn’t mean that he would always have a day completely free of any technical school responsibilities. Most days in the week, Dib would put forth at least a  _ little _ bit of work (he figured studying even for just ten minutes would help him retain the information better and prevent things from getting muddled in his mind (again, thanks, beloved WikiHow)). 

Regardless, there were still times that Dib  _ did _ have a few hours- or even sometimes the majority of the day- to dedicate to free time. 

It was…  _ tempting _ to sleep all day on the rare occasions that he found himself having a great stretch of free time. Sure, he wasn’t completely devoid of time to spend dedicated to his own passions and hobbies, but he  _ was _ still figuring out how to deal with everything and was struggling with managing the time he had that  _ wasn’t _ dedicated to school. 

It was almost as though Dib was so overwhelmed with what was happening in school that the time he  _ did _ have to himself almost felt as though it wasn’t  _ truly _ free time. He felt like he was just forgetting to do something on days when he didn’t have a lot of school work. It was a strange, gnawing anxiety that Dib had almost never struggled with in his past. 

Even with these new and, frankly,  _ disgusting _ feelings, Dib did his best to actually  _ enjoy _ the time he had to dedicate to himself and his own desires. 

And that was exactly why he was currently sitting in one of the smaller classrooms on campus, situated at a circular table with a number of his fellow paranormal nerds, Mason sitting just to his left and acting as something to ground Dib to his present reality much like Zim once had. 

The club wasn’t a very large one, but that didn’t matter to Dib. In fact, it was almost preferred. In a larger group, like the Swollen Eyeball Network, people wouldn’t be able to connect to one another as well and share their experiences to the fullest extent. With a smaller number of people all gathered in the same generalized location, they would have a  _ far _ easier time working together and sharing their experiences (plus, it was a little less difficult to adapt to and added the cosy little bonus of friendship to the mix- really, it was a win-win). 

For the most part, the other members were all older than Dib- or, at least, they had all been attending that school for longer than Dib had been. Aside from himself and Mason, there were no other freshmen in the club, and, honestly, Dib had no issue with that. So long as there were other people interested in the paranormal that Dib could surround himself with, he was content with the situation, and this club seemed like the perfect place for someone like him.

At the moment, they were doing little more than going around and introducing themselves. Regardless, Dib found himself grinning like a gleeful idiot. 

The very  _ concept _ of being physically surrounded by this many people with the same interests as he did was foreign and beautiful. Of course, he had been part of the Swollen Eyeball Network and that had been  _ far _ larger than this was, comprised of many different people from all across the world, but, unlike that organization, this one was  _ local _ . He could be in the very same room with many people just like him that he was on a first-name basis with, having “Code Names” in place less for protection and privacy and more for the fun of having a nickname. He could  _ see _ these people and share his experiences with them. He could finally  _ be _ with the kind of people he had always wanted in his life, and, as new and strange as that was, it was a more than welcome change. 

Here, Dib didn’t have to introduce himself with an alias and pretend to be someone else while there, keeping nearly everything about his identity secret. Instead, when he introduced himself, he told all of them the truth, sharing exactly the same things that everyone else had shared. As always, he shared his code name- as all of the others who also had one did- but he also shared his real name and pronouns and something  _ slightly _ more personal about himself (not that one’s favourite cryptid was particularly  _ personal _ , but it was still nice to be able to discuss it with  _ someone _ ). 

“I’m Dib Membrane, he/him. I’ve been interested in the paranormal for as long as I can remember and my favourite cryptid is Mothman- hence why my online alias or code name is Agent Mothman.”

“Oooh,  _ Agent _ . Fancy!” A girl with brightly dyed green and pink hair (Dib believed she had introduced herself as “Roe” short for something like “Rosemary”) grinned at him from her position at the table, “Did you pick your code name, or was it given to you.”

“I got to pick it, but I was pretty young when I did, so I wasn’t completely sure what to go with. Someone else suggested I include something involving my favourite cryptid, so I ended up going with “Agent Mothman”.”

“Why the ‘Agent’ bit?” The same girl-  _ Roe _ \- asked.”

“And more importantly…” another guy whose name Dib had already forgotten in his excitement cut in, “Why is  _ Mothman _ your favourite cryptid? He isn’t that interesting, he’s one of the most stereotypical and basic cryptids, and he doesn’t exactly have any cool abilities or anything. He is one of the most  _ boring _ cryptids ever- he just has a lot of hype surrounding him.”

“Jared-” Right!  _ Jared _ was his name. How typical. “Don’t be  _ rude _ ,” Roe hissed. 

Before Jared could say anything in response, though, Dib jumped to Mothman’s defence, feeling personally offended by Jared’s words, “Mothman is  _ incredibly _ interesting! Mothman has been seen in varying locations all over the world for  _ years _ and he acts as a warning or bad omen of what’s to come. His “ability” is being able to supposedly predict when and where horrible events are going to occur so that he can go to the location and warn people in advance!”

“ _ Or _ he  _ causes _ those issues and the sightings of him are either threats or unintentional,” Mason interjected, “Which I guess would make his ability being incredibly powerful, in that case?”

Dib nodded enthusiastically, “ _ Exactly! _ And, either way, that’s  _ super _ cool- and you have to admit that clairvoyance- or potentially the power to cause such big events-  _ and _ the ability to survive in incredibly different locations all around the world  _ is _ impressive. Almost no other species of animal can handle going through climate changes as quickly and easily as that and that’s not even the most impressive thing about him.”

“Let me guess- the sight into the future  _ is _ ?” Jared looks unimpressed, “And even  _ that _ can’t be confirmed. We don’t know for a fact that that’s the case- like Mason said, he could be  _ causing _ those things.”

“Not to diss Mothman,” Roe asked, “But if he  _ is _ the thing that’s causing these events and not just trying to warn the locals about them, wouldn’t that make him, essentially, a terrorist?”

“ _ That’s _ what you’re hung up on?” Jared squinted. 

“As a parascientist, it’s an important question to ask!”

“I don’t think animals are even  _ capable _ of being terrorists.”

“I mean… there’s nothing specifically stating that they  _ have _ to be human,” Mason pointed out, sounding slightly uncomfortable with the way the conversation was going. 

“Speaking of which!” Dib jumped in, quickly redirecting the conversation once more, “Mothman can’t even technically be confirmed as an  _ animal _ . Of course, there are  _ theories _ that he’s some unknown or thought to be extinct species, but there are also theories that he’s an  _ alien _ .”

“Mothman being an alien  _ could _ explain how he’s able to do all of the things that he’s capable- or supposedly capable- of doing.” Mason agreed. 

“Plus, he’s named after both Batman  _ and _ a  _ Batman _ villain, so that’s a plus,” the words came from someone who had remained silent throughout the meeting- they hadn’t even introduced themselves as everyone else had. They received an enthusiastic thumbs-up from Roe once they finished speaking, making them smile softly. 

Perhaps they were just a generally nervous and anxious person- something that Dib couldn’t relate to very much but, from his (admittedly brief) time knowing Mason, Dib knew that his roommate could relate. He couldn’t empathize with what he assumed they were going through, but he could sympathize- more so now that he was better acquainted with Mason. 

“Okay, that  _ is _ kind of cool,” Jared relented, rolling his eyes and nodding softly towards the person who had spoken, “But that doesn’t change the fact that Mothman is one of the most basic cryptids  _ ever _ .”

“You’re one to talk- your favourite is just a hybrid of a shark and a wolf,” Dib argued. 

“Hey! Akhlut has a  _ lot _ of interesting history behind it and actually comes from both science  _ and _ folklore!” 

“It’s a shark. Mixed with a wolf.”

“An  _ orca _ ,” Jared corrected, “And it’s not just a  _ hybrid _ of the two, it’s a  _ shapeshifter _ that can go back and forth between its two forms at will.”

“And how is  _ that _ based on science?”

“It’s based on the phenomenon of wolf prints leading in and out of the ocean- and the fact that orcas used to be called  _ seawolves _ .”

“ _ Very _ scientific,” Dib rolled his eyes. 

“Yeah, and Mothman being a clairvoyant alien who decided to come to Earth and spend his time saving stupid little humans by warning them and not actually doing anything is  _ so _ much more scientific.”

Dib couldn’t help but snicker at their conversation, even though it was a bit of a serious debate for him.

“Okay,” Roe stood, giving everyone a smile, “I’m going to call this meeting to an end and declare it a successful first meeting for the year! We’ve already had some nerd fights, so  _ that’s _ a win. We’ll meet the same time next week.”

Dib blinked. The meeting was over already? It had felt like such a short amount of time despite the fact that it had lasted for roughly an hour, according to the analogue clock hanging on one of the walls. The time had gone by ridiculously quickly, but in a way that nothing else had that school year. Most days seemed to go by quickly, leaving him stressed and scrambling to get everything done properly. This was different, though. This went by quickly, not because he was stressed and rushing, but because he had been far more focused on how excited he had been and how genuinely  _ fun _ the experience had been. 

As the room slowly emptied, everyone gathering their things and filing out, Dib exchanged a massive grin with Mason, the two of them already delving back into the previous conversation regarding Mothman. 

Things were good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> College/University can be difficult to adapt to, but, in this fic, Dib is being specifically set up to fail and not enjoy it (it isn't for everyone- I think he would be far happier immediately going into interning/working under other parascientists or going to a more specialized school or something similar). If you're going into college/university soon, don't let other people's struggles make you nervous or discourage you. You can make it work, even if it takes a bit of time and energy to get used to it, and, it isn't a big deal if it takes you a long time to make things work or if you have to do things your own way. 
> 
> That ramble was almost definitely unnecessary, but I'm tired and having a bit of a caffeine crash, so you get it anyways.


	6. Caught Up in It

Dib wouldn’t exactly say that things were going…  _ poorly _ , so to speak; things had just been complicated lately. Organizing his time and getting his life together was becoming increasingly difficult. Naturally, all of the classes he had enrolled in had been, as per his father’s demands, rather advanced ones- even for the already difficult school that he was attending, and  _ of course, _ the classes he was in became harder as the days went by. It was almost as if the professors were very specifically increasing the difficulty levels of their classes each day like they were in one of the crappy video games Gaz loved to play instead of on the campus of a school. 

Admittedly, it made sense for their classes to be more difficult. Of course they wouldn’t be as easy to go through as high school classes (despite all of the blatant lies that the teachers of their high school constantly fed them, they were  _ not _ properly preparing them for either the real world  _ or _ university), it was just a big change and one that Dib wasn’t exactly prepared for. 

If this was something else- if Dib were struggling with his paranormal research and facing challenges related to his actual passions- he wouldn’t mind. He would continue to put forth all of his effort just as he always had in the past. He would continue working towards figuring things out, regardless of how much time and energy he had to pour into it. Dib would make it happen because he was nothing if not passionate. This, though? It wasn’t something Dib was particularly passionate about. Sure, it may have been stressful if Dib was struggling like this with something he  _ actually _ cared about, but, at the same time, it would have likely motivated and excited him even more. Challenges were fun- especially when they had to do with aliens, the paranormal, or the experiments he was running. 

Unfortunately, his classes were none of those things and, rather than pushing him to try harder and put forth more effort than he had been before, the struggles he faced in his classes just drained his motivation and energy. The more time he spent in his classes, becoming more and more confused and needing to put forth more than he had to keep up with each of them, the less he was willing to put into them. 

Every day left Dib feeling absolutely exhausted in every way. It was far from abnormal for Dib to get very little sleep some nights, staying awake into the early hours of the day when the sun began to peek over the horizon, staining the sky purple and orange, but, in the past, whenever those nights occurred, it was because Dib was working on something he was particularly passionate about. Back in high school, his all-nighters were filled with coffee, ambient music or podcasts flowing through his speakers, and some research of either his own or someone else’s in front of him to spend the night pouring over and analyzing during that time. Now, those nights were spent with Dib hunched over his desk, several books he didn’t care about scattered around him, notebooks full of information that didn’t pertain to him laying open before him, and equally unexciting and unhelpful assignments spread before him to do. 

Sure, high school had been boring but this was an entirely different level. Back in high school, he could at least get through the day while putting forth minimal effort, not really trying in any of his classes but still getting by with passable and typically above-average grades. Now, he had to  _ fight _ to do well in his classes- and most of them didn’t even interest him in the slightest. 

His Literature classes were absolutely  _ dragging _ him through everything, his professor forcing grammar lessons that Dib had known since childhood and didn’t particularly care about or see as anything important down his throat. The only books they were ever assigned to complete were dreadfully boring ones that barely allowed Dib to stretch his mind and think about the possibilities of the meanings behind it. His professor in that class always grew irritated when they didn’t process and interpret the information in the novels he assigned them in the precise way that he had, making it so that the few simple joys that could potentially come with a class like that dissipated entirely. 

Astronomy was interesting most of the time, and Dib was certain that, under different circumstances, he would have enjoyed that class and appreciated how intellectually challenging it was rather than finding it exhaustive. As it was, though, his other classes were already draining him deeply,  _ and _ he was absolutely positive that Zim could have taught him all of this information and more- or, at the very least, he could have found these things out for himself while either researching Zim or alongside him (whether or not they were friends was somewhat up in the air at the moment- and in general- so Dib wasn’t entirely sure which would be more likely, but both would be interesting and fun in their own ways, even if he  _ would _ prefer to work with his alien companion rather than against him). Considering the fact that he knew he could have gotten all of that information and more from simply adventuring in his own way alongside his old friend, Dib felt barely motivated to put forth any effort in that class at all. The stuff was interesting, sure, but he could have gotten it from his own travels rather than getting it second-hand from his professor (not that he disliked his professor- they seemed like a cool person- but Dib was too drained and uninspired to put forth the effort required for that class and enjoy it as he otherwise might have). 

Every night, Dib struggled to fall asleep, his head full and spinning painfully despite the fact that he was exhausted beyond belief and  _ needed _ the sleep desperately. Every morning, Dib had a difficult time forcing himself out of bed, bleary and too tired to function properly but needing to make himself get up and put forth the work he needed to get through the painfully long day. Every day, he struggled through his classes, barely finding the time and energy to get through them, let alone succeed and excel in them. 

The only reprise he had during the painful days of school were the meetings he had with the paranormal club every week (or every fortnight if things didn’t go as planned).

Meetings with his club- the only one he had bothered joining that year- were the only thing he looked forward to throughout the week and the only thing he truly enjoyed about his time there. It wasn’t often that Dib had had the opportunity to speak to people with similar interests and beliefs as he had back in high school, and finally having that changed everything. It was the only time during the week where he genuinely felt heard and where he was actually interested in everything that he learned, entirely willing to put forth his time and effort and was  _ happy _ to be there. It was one of the only times during the week where the lethargic tiredness that haunted him all week finally slipped away, instead giving way to interest and excitement. 

Until he could no longer attend the meetings regularly. 

They were every week, thankfully, but that only helped Dib if he could actually make it to them. As time went on, though, that became less and less possible. Even if his classes themselves didn’t always conflict with the schedule for the club meetings, Dib’s work for his classes often did and he felt as though he could hardly handle the workload _and_ manage to get any type of sleep while also attending the club meetings. 

The first time he missed a meeting, he had simply fallen asleep, collapsing onto his bed upon returning from school and sleeping so deeply that Mason couldn’t even wake him up in time for the meeting, despite his numerous attempts to do so. 

“I tried to wake you up, but you wouldn’t get up no matter what I did,” Mason explained, a few hours later when Dib was fully awake and Mason had returned from the meeting, “Besides, I think you probably needed the sleep. You’re looking pretty rough, man… are you alright?”

“Yeah… yeah, I’m fine,” Dib shook his head, clearing his mind of the fog that still lingered even now that he had awoken, “Thanks.”

The next week, he missed the meeting because he was studying for a test that he had the following morning. He told Mason that much, and, thankfully, his new friend didn’t seem too disappointed that he wouldn’t be there. 

The next several weeks passed like that, with Dib barely processing the fact that it was the day of the meet until Mason mentioned it to him before he left, asking if Dib was going to join them that time. Eventually, Mason anticipated Dib’s decline each time he asked. He didn’t stop though, and Dib couldn’t help but appreciate that just a little bit, even if he didn’t have the time to attend the meetings.

When his friend returned from the meetings, Mason always told Dib about what had happened and how things had gone, giving him brief updates if Dib was still awake when he returned to their dorm. He once even brought Dib some food that one of the people had brought in- some baked goods made by the one quiet person from the first meeting (who was apparently beginning to slowly open up and speak more at the recent meetings, starting to act less nervous about being there than they had been during the earlier meetings (Dib wished he was there to see them slowly come out of their shell, even if he wasn’t particularly close to or interested in them)). The gesture had warmed Dib’s heart, genuinely making him appreciate the fact that he had a friend who seemed to care so deeply about him, even if he had only known the friend for a short amount of time. 

“Thanks, Mason,” he grinned at his friend, though the smile was tired and his eyes were half-lidded with exhaustion.

“Of course, man.”

They hadn’t spoken for the rest of the night, Dib too engrossed in his work to manage talking to his friend and Mason contently enveloped in the story of a book he was reading for one of his classes- a book that he, thankfully, actually enjoyed. That night, Dib fell asleep at his desk, waking up with indents of his pens and the spine of his notebook pressed into his face. 

~~~

Dib was thankful for the fact that there was public transportation on the large campus he was living on. It made getting to and from each of his classes and his home far easier considering the fact that he didn’t have his own personal mode of transportation (why bother buying a car when it was far more exciting to walk or (on certain occasions that Dib now yearned for more than ever) fly everywhere?). 

Unfortunately, public transportation also led to uncomfortable interactions on the busses as he was shuttled around campus. Usually, these situations occurred between Dib and someone else who was actually riding the bus (if he was even awake and energized enough to process the fact that something weird had happened (which he often wasn’t when he was living off a cocktail of barely sleeping and drinking more coffee than he was eating food)). That day, though, the situation involved several missed and ignored calls from Zim. 

Of course, at that point, Dib  _ couldn’t _ answer the phone call from his friend, regardless of whether or not he wanted to. He was on a crowded public bus, making it difficult and uncomfortable for him to speak on the phone with anything- let alone the weird, loud, and enthusiastic alien on the other end. 

Alongside that, though… Dib didn’t know if he could bring himself to answer the phone call. The very thought of speaking to Zim made his insides tangle up uncomfortably, regardless of how much he missed the alien invader. 

When Dib had left for university, he had been hopeful and prepared to put forth his all, even if he wasn’t particularly enthused about the situation. Now, though, that had slowly drained from him, leaving him far less energized for the whole situation. He didn’t particularly want Zim knowing just how poorly things were going for him- not after he had abandoned the alien and done so with such absolute confidence in his actions. 

Beyond that Zim was a reminder of what he had left behind. He represented the adventures and knowledge and excitement he had so willingly given up in favour of following a path that he had never been interested in in the first place. He was the first friend (and enemy) that Dib had ever truly had, and, with that, the first he had left behind when things changed. Zim came with everything that Dib missed and longed for, everything that he regretted leaving behind, and everything he had always hoped his future would be full of. 

Dib didn’t know if he could face his friend after leaving him, and he didn’t know if he could face such a powerful reminder of the life he was losing so he could live one he had never wanted.

He ignored the call. 

~~~

It wasn’t that Dib and Gaz were particularly close; they had never really grown together as people nor as siblings, despite the fact that they had grown up together under strange circumstances. There was very little that they had in common with one another beyond their parental origins, so there wasn’t much that the two of them had to talk about or do with one another. Gaz wasn’t particularly interested in the paranormal or in aliens (she didn’t really see the  _ point _ in caring about either of them), and Dib wasn’t particularly interested in video games like she was. Usually, whenever they “hung out” together, it just ended up happening because they lived in the same house with one another and would occasionally wind up sharing the same room. Even then, they would usually go on doing their own things separately, not really talking to one another as they did so.

Despite the fact that they weren’t very close, Gaz found it strange that Dib hadn’t called home in several weeks. He hadn’t spoken to her  _ or _ their dad in what felt like forever. It didn’t really  _ upset _ her- she truthfully didn’t care that much about it- but it was strange regardless and she couldn’t help but wonder why he hadn’t spoken to them in such a long time. Honestly, she didn’t think that he would be able to shut up at all about what university was like once he got there- he wasn’t really the kind of guy to be quiet about the things that excited him. 

Then again, maybe this wasn’t as exciting for him as it had seemed when he initially left, all positive and hopeful about how things would go. 

Maybe things were going poorly so he didn’t want to call home, or maybe things were going really well and he was just busy having fun off at school and with the new friends he had made (something that Gaz begrudgingly admitted she hoped he obtained while he was there (as much as she loved to tease him, it was depressing to see him all mopey and alone and she hoped he didn’t continue to carry that with him)). She hoped it was the latter and Dib was enjoying himself there.

She wasn’t going to bother calling him, though. 

Still… Gaz couldn’t help but idly wonder how things were going and why he wasn’t constantly messaging and calling them with updates and information like he had for the first few weeks of school. 

Whatever. 

~~~

Unlike Gaz, Zim  _ did _ make attempts to call Dib. They weren’t very frequent, and, sometimes, weren’t even intentional- Zim just picking up the phone and idly dialling up Dib’s number so they could chat on the phone about whatever meaningless things they decided upon while they worked on their respective projects as they had back before Dib had left for university. 

Of course, Dib never picked up and Zim didn’t bother leaving messages on his answering machine, usually hanging up before he could even hear the pre-recorded message that Dib had set up for when he missed calls (“You’ve reached the phone of Dib Membrane; I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m out hunting the paranormal and discovering the unknown. I’ll call you back as soon as I can! Leave a message after the tone.”  _ Beep _ ). 

It was bittersweet on the few occasions that Zim  _ did _ listen to Dib’s message. It was nice to hear his voice, of course, and amusing to hear him cracking the same shitty joke about adventuring that he had set up in middle school and never bothered to change as time went on, but it was also disappointing that it was, well… just a recording. 

Dib never called him back, either, adding to the disappointment of the situation. 

Zim had never considered himself much of a social person- especially on Earth- there just weren’t many people that he cared about enough to attempt to stay in touch with and regularly converse with. There were not many people that he would willingly spend a great deal of his time with just doing nothing. There weren’t many people he looked forward to seeing and speaking on the phone with even if they weren’t going to talk about anything, simply enjoying one another’s company and the sound of their voices. 

There wasn’t  _ anyone _ Zim felt that for aside from Dib. 

With Zim’s best friend  _ and _ worst enemy, all wrapped up in one tattered trench coat gone- completely out of his life as if the man had simply vanished- Zim didn’t know what to do. 

What had happened to them?


End file.
